Blue Nude 1902 (c) Pablo Picasso
notice how stress can affect a healthy outlook on life? well i was one of those, you know.
I'm free but I'm focused
I'm green but I'm wise
I'm hard but I'm friendly, baby
I'm sad but I'm laughin
I'm brave but I'm chickenshit
I'm sick but I'm pretty, baby
i have a series of artworks to finish and what's nice about it is i get to choose my subj. i call the shots. lately, i've been under stress and the drive to create just wasn't there. pranking my mom on the phone was a welcome diversion -- i told her i got paid $5 for cleaning 3 toilets, of course she nearly passed out but when she recovered, she asked if i even wore gloves... yup, that's mom for ya. hilarious? talking to my cousin later that night was much more. in fact, it tore my ribs apart. she was gushing about a boy whom she called "babe", i said that sounded very outdated, very corny. she said, "what? horny? are you sure?" she was using a three-way call so you could imagine how many times she called him "horny" while i sat back listening. i didn't have the energy to correct her, so i let go. anyway, as i was saying, i've slacked off. my rebellious days are over but what to do if sometimes you just want to break away from social conformity? when life kinda burns you out? sitting on the piano at 3 am just looking out the window made me think of the things i've done in my life (a breathtaking city view often has that effect in the wee hours of the morning), once in a while giving myself a pat on the back for eschewing the temptations that were hurled at me -- oh, some minor stuff such as, let's see, i've never flicked a cigarette (ordinary cigarette or otherwise) because smoking doesn't cut for me. when suddenly, like smooching leonardo diCaprio, it hit me: you find patches of your calling (or purpose) and put them together to make sense of life.
And what it all all boils down to
Is that no one's really got it figured out just yet
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is playing the piano
these days, i'm not living only for myself. i'm gaining more [teen] followers and the responsibility scares the hell out of me. but it's also giving me back my inspiration. despite my recent sluggishness, i'm eager to pick up a pen and get creative again. so yes, i'm alright. a temporary setback... nothing to it.
And what it all comes down to my friends
Is that everything's just fine fine fine
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is hailing a taxi cab
Artist: Alanis Morissette
since 2004.10