sophie's fair

Taz (c) Warner Bros

ten "brilliant" gifts for us from askmen.com --
pissed off is NOT what i'm feeling right now, i'm beyond that! i am outraged by the insensitivity of (some) men whose gift ideas are unimaginative, careless, offensive, and downright cheap! oh, but it's the thought that counts -- cut the crap and spare me your sob story. you dont ever treat your girlfriend/wife like your 10 yr old niece or your fling... you give them the best you have, you brutes! i treasure every gift that people give me, anything to remember them by. but as for you guys, you had 11 months to save up for this, and the best you can come up with is a LINGERIE??? no wonder you dont score.

Buy Her Gifts for under $100

10) Glamour Magazine Subscription
If you have a friend who may become a potential bedmate, and want to show that you've been thinking about her, why not purchase a subscription of her favorite magazine? This gift is ideal for that new friend, a sister or even a colleague.

no potential relationship for this one, but that's ok, you can cry on your sister/friend's shoulder after your "girlfriend" has torn the first five pages with her bare teeth.

9) Wild Orchid
Use the power of music to bring the magic back to your relationship. This holiday season, show her your romantic and rhythmic side by giving her the soothing sounds of Wild Orchid, The Best of The Gipsy Kings and George Michael.

if you really want to "bring magic back to your relationship", give her what she wants -- for herself, not what you think you both would want. if you havent seen love actually, go and watch it, for crying out loud, and watch as karen bursts into tears when her senseless, nincompoop of a husband gave her what you're suggesting for christmas.

8) What Men Really Want
Sure you've got the looks, now impress her with your intellectual side by giving her a set of books worth reading. I recommend that you fill her stocking with these three books; What Men Really Want, Men are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, and Daily Word for Women: 365 Days of Love, Inspiration, Guidance.

ok, tell me you're just joking and we'll all forget about this! not only would you look like the stupid, cocky, egotistical, self-serving bastards that you are, but these gifts are not what women would want from their boyfriends/husbands!!! these are gifts we'd expect from girl-friends, sisters, and yes, even moms! her world doesnt revolve around you, so get that straight.

7) Francesco Biasia Wallet
Give her a new reason to never forget her wallet again, and maybe next time she'll even pay for dinner. This is a great gift for that special woman in your life.

do not, i repeat, do not embarrass yourselves further. if you have to give her a wallet, leave your credit card inside.

6) Arsho's Y-Two Picture Frame
Capture the lasting memory of your love by giving her this beautiful aluminum base with glass frame, along with a picture of the two of you. Don't make the mistake of giving her a picture frame without a photo. The idea is to show her that you're thinking long-term.

yeah, right. personally, i prefer getting picture frames/photo albums from family & friends, but c'mon, from a boyfriend??? if the idea is to let her know that you're thinking long-term, give her an engagement ring.

5) Kosta Boda Blue Moon Candle Holder
Invite yourself into her home with this elegant blue moon candle holder. Who knows, if you're lucky, you might even be invited to see the glowing flame inside her bedroom. It's customary to give two candle holders -- but that'll exceed your budget -- so just tell her that she'll get the second one after the two of you are married.

keep the damn candle. and no, you're not invited to come in.

4) Bouquet of Flowers
A woman loves flowers, especially when they're delivered unexpectedly to her place of work -- where she can show them off to her colleagues. White lilies are the ideal gift for a friend. If she's your lover, then add the vase and a box of chocolate truffles to melt her heart.

that is just for ordinary days, we're talking about christmas, c'monnn!

3) Cultured Pearl Pendant
Consider this the little I was thinking of you gift. Normally, this one would top the list. Unfortunately, to score high with jewelry, you have to spend a little more than one hundred dollars. This beautiful pendant is the perfect gift to adorn that special woman in your life with.

i understand that you have a fixed budget, but i just wonder... how come you guys, can afford your own luxury items, e.g. an xbox that costs more than a hundred bucks???

2) Lingerie: Velvet Knit Sarong Set
Women love clothing, so if you're going to buy her some, you may as well buy her something that she will appreciate and you will enjoy at the same time. As long as it fits comfortably, and doesn't make her look ridiculous, you can never go wrong with lingerie.

ok, this is the kind of gift i would throw to the dogs! joan would definitely agree that it is the most unoriginal, most selfish piece of holiday trash that you could ever come up with! give something to cover her not expose her, asshole!

1) Chocolate Delights
If the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, then exotic chocolate is the way into a woman's panties. No woman can resist the magic lure of delightful chocolate treats. Send your woman a box of her favorite candy and you'll be rewarded tenfold.

funny, i just blogged about chocolate yesterday... but you know what guys, we can buy our own chocolates, thank you. chocolates are not for scoring. we have our friends & other loved ones to supply us with ballotin boxes of godiva, you however, will just have to go to the nearest store and buy us a real present for putting up with you.
now, if you truly want shopping suggestions, this is how it really works.
you scums wear me down.